The Problem
Something stressful happens at work. Let’s say your manager gives you constructive feedback on a project. You spiral into a rabbit hole of everything this feedback could lead to:
- Your boss will never like you again
- You’ll be put on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP)
- You’ll probably get fired
- You won’t be able to pay your mortgage
- No one will ever love you again
The Big Small Thing
Separate Fact from Friction
Fact: Your boss gave you constructive feedback. This is verifiable and true.
Friction: All the bullets above. None of these are true; they are negative manifestations of fear-based thinking. They are not reality; they are unhelpful stories you tell yourself about a hypothesized future. They put your brain in “stuck” mode and keep you playing small.
And often, the negative fears we have – and the friction we create – do NOT happen.
How This Helps You Get What You Want
It’s hard to get what you want when you create your own friction. When you nip that in the bud, however, your creativity, productivity, and trust flourish.
Ask yourself these questions to separate Fact from Friction and get back in your goal-achieving zone:
1. Is this thought a verifiable truth?
The constructive feedback is; the mortgage default is not.
2. Is it possible this future fear won’t happen?
Feedback is given thousands of times a day; PIPs are not.
3. What action do I need to take today?
A smart “today” task is to email your boss and let them know one step you will take to act on their feedback. One unnecessary “today” task is to start looking for new jobs.
These questions keep you grounded in facts, out of fiction, and away from friction. And that’s the zone you want to be in to create your best work – and life.
Let’s do this,
