At a recent conference, I got to see my good friend Phil.
He caught me between sessions and said, “Jenny, I’m so sorry I’ve barely talked to you.”
I immediately said, “Phil, I’m so sorry I’ve barely talked to you either.”
Then he said, “There’s just so many people I want to meet.”
And instantly, we both got it.
No guilt or offense taken. Just mutual understanding.
We were there to meet new people, not catch up with each other.
The Problem
At every conference, offsite, or team event, you face the same tension:
Do I spend time with the people I already know and love? Or do I meet new people?
You see your close colleague across the room. You haven’t talked to them all day. You feel a wave of guilt.
Should I go say hi? Are they offended I haven’t checked in?
Meanwhile, there’s someone new standing next to you who could become a valuable connection. But the guilt keeps you stuck.
You end up sitting with your two best work friends at lunch. Safe. Comfortable. And completely missing the point.
The Big Small Thing
Stop apologizing for prioritizing new connections at conferences.
Your close friends and colleagues can Slack you on Monday. You can grab coffee next week. Your relationship will survive.
But that person from the Paris office who’s only in town for two days? You can’t get that time back.
This is about being SHAMELESS.
Shameless is one of the nine traits I write about in my new book Wild Courage. It means releasing unnecessary guilt about doing what’s strategically right for you.
Here’s what to do at your next work event:
At team offsites: Don’t sit with your desk neighbor. You’ll see them tomorrow. Sit with the cross-functional partner you’ve been emailing for six months but never met.
At conferences: Your industry best friend will be at the next event. The person who could hire you, fund you, or partner with you might not be.
At networking events: Your mentor will always take your call. The decision-maker you’ve been trying to reach for months is standing right there. Go talk to them.
Your real friends will understand this. Because they’re doing it too.
When Phil said “There’s so many people I want to meet,” I didn’t feel rejected. I felt relieved.
He gave me permission to do what we were both already trying to do: maximize the opportunity.
Want more tips like this? Subscribe to my newsletter!
How This Helps You Get What You Want
Career growth comes from expanding your network, not maintaining it for 48 hours straight.
If your close colleague is “ignoring” you at a conference…
They’re not being rude.
They’re being smart.
They’re building relationships that will help their career.
You should do the same.
