How to avoid burnout: The leadership lesson I learned after overpreparing.

I thought I was doing the right thing…

I had a big speaking event coming up.

So I hired an incredible coach, studied my delivery, practiced like crazy, and pushed myself to apply every piece of feedback she gave me.

It wasn’t about getting better anymore. It was about doing the job perfectly.

If I didn’t incorporate all 15 things she told me right away, I’d be a failure.

So I prepped for 20 hours, neglecting everything else in the process – the other parts of my job, my husband, my kids.

I gave the speech. The crowd applauded. My coach was thrilled.

But me? I felt awful 

Driving home, I realized how hard I’d squeezed myself for juice that actually wasn’t that important.

I felt like a total failure.

Because I had failed—at managing my energy and protecting my mental bandwidth.

I wasn’t being excellent.

I’d become too obsessed.

The Problem

Obsessed is one of the most powerful traits I write about in Wild Courage.

It’s the courage to care deeply, push hard, and pursue excellence.

But when it’s left unchecked, it becomes a trap.

Psychologist Barry Schwartz distinguishes between “maximizers” and “satisficers”:

Maximizers chase the absolute best outcome—no matter how much time or energy it costs.

Even if the difference in results is tiny, maximizers can’t let it go.

Satisficers, on the other hand, pursue good-enough results with more balance—and end up happier with the outcome.

They optimize without overdoing.

The Big Small Thing

Being Obsessed doesn’t mean doing everything.

It means doing what matters—well.

Want to avoid the “maximizer trap” at work?

Live by limits and leeway.

3 Examples of Limits:

1. Limit: Even if you want to aim big, start small.

I want to get back into strength training. I told a friend yesterday that now that the book launch was over, I was going to look into personal trainers. She said, “Jenny, how about limiting yourself to 20 push-ups and sit-ups just to get started?”

If you wait to find the perfect personal trainer, at the perfect price, at the perfect location, you’ll never start. If you limit yourself to 20 push-ups and sit-ups, you’ll feel successful and you can expand from there.

2. Limit: If you’re a manager reviewing a direct report’s deck, limit yourself to 5 comments.

No need to “prove your value” by pummeling them with 3 pieces of feedback on each slide. Save yourself the time and spare them the overwhelm.

3. Limit: Set 3 things to get an A+ on. Let the rest be a B.

A+ your client pitch and executive update. B-level that reply-all email to your team. 4.5 vs 45 minutes might suffice.

3 Examples of Leeways:

1. Leeway: If you think a task will take 5 days, tell your boss 6.

2. Leeway: If you think your kitchen remodel will cost you 50K, budget 60K.

3. Leeway: Schedule your workouts.

This sounds like common sense but it’s rarely common practice. I’ve been saying for 6 months I want to get to a yoga class. But it wasn’t until writing this bullet that I just scheduled it on my calendar.

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How This Helps You Get What You Want

If you want to lead well, stay sane, and still be great at your job:

✅ Set limits
✅ Build in leeway
✅ Stop aiming for an A+ on everything

Maximizers chase perfection and burn out.

Satisficers focus on what matters—and finish strong.