I had a coaching session last week with a woman named Alice.
She works at a big tech company. She’s talented, respected by leadership, and doing work way above her level.
And she has zero interest in getting promoted.
When she told me this, my first instinct was: “But you could be making more money!”
Then Alice explained why.
Her goal is to optimize for peace. She wants to see her friends more. She wants time for piano lessons. She wants balance in her life, good sleep, and great physical health. She’s content.
And I’m a bit embarrassed to admit it… but I felt a little jealous.
The Problem
Everyone around you is obsessed with climbing the ladder and strategizing how to get promoted. And you’re thinking: I don’t actually want that right now.
But you worry people will think you’re not ambitious or serious about your career.
So you don’t say it out loud. You just keep your head down and feel guilty for not wanting more.
The Big Small Thing
On a recent podcast my friend Rory Vaden said, “Peace is the new profit.” I love that line because it reframes what success can look like.
You don’t have to want the promotion to be ambitious.
Alice IS ambitious. She’s ambitious about designing her life the right way. She’s ambitious about optimizing for what actually matters to her.
4 ways to “optimize for peace” in real life:
1. Leave the office at 5 pm to see your kids.
Block “family time” on your calendar. Tell your team you’re offline after 5 pm. Stop checking email at dinner.
2. Have energy for hobbies.
Sign up for that pottery class. Join the softball rec league. Use your weekends to do things you enjoy, not catch up on work.
3. Protect your bandwidth.
Say no to projects outside your core responsibilities. Turn down the committee that meets at 7 am. Let someone else lead the initiative that would mean late nights.
4. Enjoy your life right now.
Take the vacation days. Have lunch with friends. Stop living like happiness starts at the next level.
At Google, I spent 18 years chasing promotions. I wish I could go back 10 years and tell myself: Peace matters more than the next level.
I’m 45 now, and I’m finally learning this. Alice figured it out at 35.
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How This Helps You Get What You Want
You can be content where you are. You can optimize for balance, friendships, hobbies, sleep, and mental health. That is a legitimate, ambitious goal.
Stop feeling guilty or worrying that people will judge you for not playing the game.
You ARE playing a game. Just a different one.
