Quick question for you:
Why don’t you share your wins at work?
Is it because…
a) you think it’s bragging
b) you assume the higher-ups think it’s bragging too
c) it feels sleazy and icky to clap for yourself
d) all of the above
If you answered D, you’re not alone.
For years, I held back from sharing my successes because I thought it would seem like bragging. And I assumed my higher-ups would see it the same way.
And turns out, a LOT of people feel this way…
The Problem
We hold back at work because we assume everyone sees things the way we do.
This is known as the False Consensus Effect (FCE). It’s a cognitive bias where we mistakenly believe our thoughts and feelings are shared by everyone else.
So, if you think sharing your win is braggy, you assume everyone else will think the same.
Situation:
You have a big customer win. You email your boss a few bullets about the success, but you don’t cc THEIR boss on it because you don’t want to add one more email to their inbox. Plus, you assume they’ll think it’s braggy.
False Consensus Effect:
YOU see this clogging their inbox and assume they will, too.
But THEY see it as useful. In fact, they were looking for customer wins to bring to THEIR boss’s weekly meeting, and this saves them 10 minutes of proactively asking around for business wins that week. Also, they don’t see it as braggy. They note you as a future leader because leaders NEED to talk about their team’s success. Win!
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The Big Small Thing
Recognize when you’re falling into the False Consensus Effect trap and flip the script.
When you notice an FCE situation, say this to yourself:
“Even though I think this action is A, someone else might think it is B.”
❌ A might be, “Selfish, rude, or braggy.”
✅ But B might be, “Bold, understandable, or helpful.”
Here’s an example of what to do:
Situation:
You have a big customer win. Instead of hesitating, send a quick, confident update:
Hi Boss,
Quick update on our recent success with [Customer Name]. We’ve a) achieved [Result], b) received [Positive Feedback], and c) are planning to build on this with [Next Steps]. Thought you’d like to know!
How This Helps You Chase What You Want
When you have limiting thoughts, you limit your potential.
Overthinking how someone might interpret your action is a distraction. It gets in the way of doing high-leverage work that requires focus or creativity.
When you stop basing your behavior on how you assume others think, you take more action.
And succeeding in life requires action.
When you share your wins at work, you’re sharing valuable information and positioning yourself as a future leader. Leaders need to talk about their team’s successes.
You’re a leader. It’s time to act like one.
