By Jenny Wood | published March 28, 2023

The Problem
 
You wrote an email to your boss’s boss about your key project. You reviewed it so many times that you got bleary eyed. And yet, right after you sent it, you realized you had a glaring typo. For the two hours following, you felt stupid and frustrated.
 
The Big Small Thing
 
People aren’t lying awake at night thinking about:





Because they’re lying awake at night thinking about:





And this is true even if that person is your boss. 
 
Everyone is their own worst critic, so that leaves less space for them to be your critic.
 


 
How This Helps You Get What You Want
 
When you realize no one else is dwelling on your typo, it gives you permission to stop the negative self talk. Dwelling takes up energy; energy is a precious but finite resource you need to do your best work and maximize your impact. 
 
This concept is called the spotlight effect. You put a spotlight on you and others put a spotlight on them. When you are aware of it, it changes how you approach everything in your job, relationship, or school.
 
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